dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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