There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize