sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize