New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
