Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
BRING THE BAGELS
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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