just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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