these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
