I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
