we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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