he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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