Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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