see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
love makes seman taste better
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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