No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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