I hate all girls vehemently.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
