God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
