I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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