If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
