She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
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please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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