My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
my poor anus
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
