I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
