Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
