Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
