This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
