you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
