I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...