so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
