I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
