Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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