Do vagina's smell?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
