you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Oh god it's open bar.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
