Whod you bang
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Damn victory sex feels great
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
