Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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