wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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