2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
