If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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