Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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