That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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