I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
