There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
