Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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