she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
