We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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