My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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