and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
porn star boner night. come get it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
