I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize