His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
