Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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