i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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