I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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