Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
