Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
