32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
