Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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