I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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