Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize