that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
she pinky promised me she was 18
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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