So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
