Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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