my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
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Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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