you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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