Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
